


When the rain falls

by Silvio15



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: If You Squint - Freeform, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Langst, M/M, i finished this in a day, klance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:16:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25966489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silvio15/pseuds/Silvio15
Summary: ~ A Langst fic based on art ~After a battle just barely won, Lance faces the heavy exhaustion of a depressive mood and contemplates if it’s worth it to keep going.
Relationships: Keith & Lance (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 125





	When the rain falls

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was based off this post (https://www.instagram.com/p/CD9pQZJn8zO/?igshid=1oo2lvtuaww8g) from the amazing ashwii on Instagram :3 go check it out!

“Lance, Get up!”

It’s an order that he faintly acknowledges being said, and then proceeds to completely ignore. _‘Yeah, no thanks. I’m just gonna lay here and die if that’s cool with you.’_

If he was in the mood, he’d probably have laughed at his own thoughts. But he wasn’t in the mood, so he just continued laying there, aching from the battle they just barely won. Exhausted from the rapid decline in his mental state. Just... done with everything, done with everyone.... Done with  _ himself _ . 

You know, the usual.

At least it was raining. That was a positive. And it wasn’t some weird acid rain. It felt like normal, water-based earth rain... Something nice for once, even if it only ended up amplifying and worsened the ache in his chest with the ever crushing weight of being homesick. Still, it brought back fond memories, as much as they were painful to look back on right now.

Memories of playing in the rain with his siblings, his mother calling them inside with insistence that they would get sick if they didn’t. They did end up getting sick, him especially, but his mother’s attentive care and nurturing love had helped nursed then all back to prime health. She made them promise not to play in the rain again, but even when they still did just that, she forgave and would just nurture them back to full health again for another light scolding.

Looking back on it, he can’t help but feel the painful twist of being a burden to his mother. She put up with so much of their shit, and while he tried to be as little trouble as he could, Lance is fully aware that he burdened her to... Just like he burdens the team.

“Lance!” He hears, and it encourages him to muster up the energy to raise one arm up to flip the guy off. Maybe that’ll make them leave him alone to ponder on the worth of his life. 

It doesn’t, if the sound of footsteps approaching says anything. But hey, it was worth a shot. He doesn’t try to move, just closing his eyes with a sigh as Keith blocks out the view of the sky, consequently stopping some of the rain from hitting Lance.

“Lance. We’re going now.” Keith says, tone firm and persistent. Doesn’t seem like he got the hint. Serious, isn’t a middle finger meant to be a universal gesture of _‘_ _ fuck off, leave me alone’ _ ? Well that’s what Lance wanted it to mean. Pretty sure it should’ve gotten across, even to someone as stubborn and dumb as Keith. He hears a heavy sigh from the other Paladin, and knows he’s won in getting to stay right where he was. “Do you need a pod?”

Lance shakes his head a bit in reply. He doesn’t need one. Yeah he’s beat up, exhausted, and a little wounded, but it’s not too bad. That seems to satisfy Keith, because he leaves. 

_Good_.

Now he can go back to laying in the rain and dying. On the inside of course, his mama would loose her shit if he died without her permission. He smiles slightly at the thought, staring up at the darkened sky. She’ll probably kill him herself when they get back, for running off without saying anything.

... _ If _ they ever get back, he corrects himself. Still, he looked forward to her hugs, if they ever got back. Yeah Hunk’s hugs were great, amazing even, but he hasn’t had a ‘Hunk Hug’ in ages now, and he’s become a little to scared to ask anymore. The big guy is always with Pidge now after all. No time for annoying Lance...

Not that he minds! He’s fine with that! Pidge is a great friend for him, really! He’s happy for them! It’s just... _lonely_ sometimes... and at least Hunk would understand the need for affection he has. He grew up in a big family, everyone was constantly bumping into each other. There was always hugs and goodnight kisses. No one went a day without some sort of physical affection. His mother always gave him the best hugs, the kind the surrounded you in warmth and love and made it seem like everyday could be a good day. Made every bad day more bearable.

He didn’t have her hugs up _here_...

Hell, the last time he’d been hugged by anyone was... well,  _ weeks _ ago. Before Shiro had gone missing. The realisation is a painful one, but he brushed it off. It’s fine. Everyone’s just busy. There’s more important things to be done anyway. More important then a silly need for physical affection, or the need for a friend.

War is cruel and heartless in taking and never giving. Well, that’s not true. It does give, but never anything good. It gives you nightmares and heartache, exhaustion and fear, enemies and... allies. Not friends, not really. 

That’s not to say his teammates aren’t friends! He certainly sees them as friends. But he doubts they see  _him_ as a friend sometimes...

_‘Shut up Lance!’_

_‘We have more important things to do.’_

_‘You wouldn’t understand, you’re too dumb.’_

_‘God will you grow up?!’_

Yeah... only _sometimes_... 

The rain was peaceful to listen to, and pleasant to feel against his face. Even if the quiet let his thoughts run amuck. Such thoughts distracted him enough that he didn’t notice Keith’s return till the other Paladin was sitting beside him in the muddy ground. They don’t speak for a while, but Lance recognises his presence, and is privately appreciative of the other being there.

Yeah he wanted to be alone, but... it was nice having someone acknowledge you want to be alone, but seeing that it would be better not to leave you in such a state. It’s thoughtful and nice, and Lance  knows it’s probably just because they ‘need him’ for Voltron or whatever, but if he can ignore that logic... he’d think Keith _cares_. 

Plus, it wasn’t like Keith was trying to get him to come back. He was just sitting there, so it kinda emphasised that Keith does care. At least enough to wait with him till this mood could be suppressed again. Really it was probably just because he was tired that he was feeling down. Then again he’s always tired. Not in the physical sense but the mental one. He was just... extra tired today. 

He’d been feeling low since before the battle, but the fight had just drained him further honestly... Would his mom forgive him if he decided to give up? To just... stop trying so hard? Hopefully. She’s always been a very understanding woman. His goal since being stuck out here was just to help stop the war and go home. He looked forward to his mother’s love filled embrace, looked forward to being buried in the safety of her arms once more. It was something that kept him going. 

But... was that even something to look forward to anymore? He could die out here. War doesn’t have deaths like in the movies. You don’t get to miraculously stay alive for a few more minutes to get to say goodbye. You just... _die_... And not only that, but what if they get to earth, and the galra have already destroyed it? What if his family is dead by the time he’s back? Time moves different in space, Coran said so himself. For all they know, it could be years that have passed on earth in the span of just a few months for them in space. 

A shaky breath pushes itself past his lips, and he’s left with the suffocating anxiety accompanied by bone deep numbness. Not a fun combination. At least the few tears he could feel slipping from his eyes would mix with the rain, so Keith won’t notice them... hopefully. 

It’s painful, weighing the worth of his life against the need to be hugged again by his mother. He just wants her embrace, just wants the buzzing noise of laughter and chaos he’d grown up with. Not this painful silence that doesn’t come close to what he’s used to. He’s just so tired of trying to exist, trying to fight when it would be so much easier to give up, and the only reason he’s still going anymore is so he can see his mother and feel her embrace again

He’s still lost in the thoughts and memories, contemplating over the worth of still fighting. Contemplating if it would be better to just... _give up_... because why wouldn’t it be? He wouldn’t have to deal with being a burden to the team, Keith could get his lion back. Wasn’t like anyone would miss him, and he’s always been a useless seventh wheel anyway... 

_So many things would be fixed if he was gone..._

“What are you thinking about?” Keith asks softly, and it puts a brief pause on his thoughts. He doesn’t give a verbal answer though, just a half shrug. “We... should get going soon.” He suggests, and Lance can hear the hesitance in the statement. The recognition that something is wrong but the logic of the need to move on and brush it off. 

Still, Lance sighs heavily and mustered the energy he could to push himself upright. He’s going to need a shower when he gets back. And put his armour to be cleaned too... _so much effort..._

“Lance...” the male in question glances over to the raven-head, raising a brow in silent question. He knows it’s out of character for him; being quiet, but he can’t be bothered to say anything. “Are you okay?” Keith asks; and the question catches him off guard.

“Oh... yeah, I’m fine. Just... homesick.” Lance says in reply. It’s true, partially. He’s not fine, and it’s a lot more then being just homesick, but it’s something at least. An answer to assure everything is fine. Just Lance being Lance. Nothing to worry about. He doesn’t want to be a _burden_. 

Keith doesn’t seem happy with that answer, frowning as he reached out to put a hand on the others shoulder. ”Are you sure?” He questions Lance, and the latter has to avert his gaze a bit. It’s always been a tell tale sign that he’s lying, and Keith’s gaze softens a bit with concern. This isn’t his strong point; talking with people, so he takes a different approach and hugged the other Paladin close.

Lance is frozen against him, blinking with surprise and flickers of confusion before realisation sinks in.  _ Oh _ ... he’s being hugged... and just like that he melts into the embrace, hugging back right and clinging onto Keith like he’s a lifeline. This hug is  _nothing_ like his mother’s hugs, or Hunk’s, but it’s filled with so much warmth and genuine care, and that’s enough to be perfect for him... Probably helps that he’s become basically touch starved lately as well.

“I’m... not good with the talking stuff.” Keith says softly, uncaring for the mud now covering the plates of armour along his arms. “But... if you ever need someone, I’m here.”

Lance can manage nothing more then a nod against Keith’s shoulder, graduate flooded through his very soul as he held onto the former red Paladin. “Thanks Keith,” he manages to mumble out.

They stay like that for a while, and time passes enough for the rain to have steadily came to an end and for the two’s arms to begin aching, but they stay there for a while longer still. Lance pulls back first, giving a grateful smile, and they ignore the shine of tear tracks on his cheeks mixed with wetness from the rain. 

They hadn’t brought many lions into this fight, so they both board Black together and Keith flies them back up to the castle. The trip back is quiet, and Lance is grateful for it. He’s still caked in mud, but now he feels less like it would take a ton of effort to clean up. Feels less like his thoughts will crush him.

Don’t be mistaken; things like that don’t get healed up so easily. He still misses his mother’s embrace, he still thinks he’s unwanted, still feels useless and replaceable. But... Lance half glances over at Keith and smiles to himself.

_At least he knows they’re just thoughts, and everything will be fine with time._

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Leave a comment if you did :3


End file.
